


she was determined to rewrite the heavenly order of things

by mythoughtsaretroubled



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Gen, a peak inside mara's messed up brain, some character introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:08:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26590387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythoughtsaretroubled/pseuds/mythoughtsaretroubled
Summary: Mara had room in her heart for one person: herself.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 3





	she was determined to rewrite the heavenly order of things

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iamtheholyghost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamtheholyghost/gifts).



> I wrote this cause I lost a bet with iamtheholyghost. I might add more to this one day but for now it feels pretty good. Also, being in Mara's head is intense. 
> 
> Title is a quote from the poppy war by R. F. Kuang, which has major Mara vibes.

Mara had room in her heart for one person: herself.

She had tried loving other people, but it always ended in betrayal. Her father turned her into a science experiment. Her mother locked her up in a prison, taking away the control she so craved.

Why did it matter, the Troubles? They made her happy. She felt alive when she gave them out, figuring how to amplify a person's emotions. Such fascinating little creatures, with so many emotions, overflowing their weak and ephemeral bodies. It was this puzzle, this science, this art that made them fascinating. Interesting. 

Beautiful.

Rules were made to be broken. She was the first to push limits this far. Brilliance had a price, one she never minded paying.

Who cared if the Troubles caused pain? Pain made life real. They should be thanking her. The longer you lived, the more pain you had, the more you felt, the less she felt.

Mara missed the feel of the aether in her hands, rolling the goo over her hand, the warmth of power flowing through her, seeing how it shaped her thoughts into a new dimension of a person. It gave her ten times the rush painting ever did, and seeing her handprint on someone’s skin always sent a thrill down her spine. 

Her experiments existed outside the bounds of space and time. She had created an art, a magic, truly unique to both worlds.

She was a goddess. 

Who cared if her people rejected her? They didn’t understand her, so why should she miss them? Crave their acceptance? Their acknowledgement? 

It was enough for her to understand her own greatness. She didn’t need them. She didn’t need anybody. 

And she was never turning back to them. Her mother was hellbent on recreating some child she lost long ago. The girl whose curiosity was merely cute and not destructive. The girl whose stubbornness was endearing not devastating. The girl whose brilliance was celebrated and not smothered out in the name of love. 

That girl did not exist.

Her mother abandoned her. So she wanted Audrey. She could have Audrey. But Mara would have herself, and only herself. Trust was not a luxury she could afford. And she would create a world full of chaos and wonder, where they would tremble before her and worship her as the god she was.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always greatly appreciated!!!


End file.
